


Rotten Apples and Wilted Flowers

by StellarFox



Series: Forever Ago [2]
Category: IT, IT (2017), IT - Stephen King, IT Chapter II (2019)
Genre: Drama, Everything good about The Losers Club, F/M, Follows the movie but not really, Past Lives, Possessive Behavior, Reddie, Romance, Slow Burn, Soulmates, The Losers Club, in some things not all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-13 06:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20578151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarFox/pseuds/StellarFox
Summary: If anyone know the proper spelling for the name of the native tribe please let me know, I search everywhere but couldn't find it. Thank you!





	1. Chapter 1

It was seven in the afternoon on a Wednesday, the sun lowering down on the west, beautiful colors of the sky mixing together, from hues of red and pinks to orange clouds and purple shadows.

The giant field of flowers dance with the cold wind, moving side to side, rows of different types of flowers where almost rivalty to the beauty of the sky, their multiple color and vibrancy where really a sight to behold, a big chunk of the field being a almost blinding yellow due to the petals of the sunflowers.

In there, in the middle of that sunflower field lay a tiny space barren of any living thing, no one could see it unless you know where to look. It was barely a meter or two of oddly white space, the dirt on the ground dry and flat, years and years on stepping on it.

She was sitting there, a routine she repeated almost every single day after finishing work at the flower shop. Y/N silently arrives home every day, walking through a field of sunflowers extending her hands to caress each flower along the way until reaching the spot. Her aged legs cracking from another hard day as she bends down, finally laying on her back to look at the sky fade from sunset into nightfall.

Her eyes drift from cloud to cloud, the mind quiet as the sounds of the field engulf her, making it feel more safe buried between the sunflowers than any other place. She knew why she was there, she knew why that spot had become her's, sometimes if she focus enough she could still feel the soil more elevated where she had buried the box, she knew it was insane, but the princess did felt the pea no matter how many mattresses she laid on. 

Even if the box was deep underground, her past wouldn’t’ never be that easy to hide, specially not with the ring still hanging from her neck, still attached to her even after all this years. 

The chain was longer now, so the ring could sit under her clothes, right where the heart is. She started hiding it many years ago when she realized many people asked about it and certain friends still looked at it with distain and bad memories. 

After a few hours it was not longer pleasurable to lay there, the cold of the night was ruff and after a full day of moving and carrying bouquets her body was asking for a hot and long bath, plus she needed to make a few calls.

Standing up was always harder, the old wound on her back was too old to give her troubles but in days like this, it was a reminder that everything was real, no matter how many times she doubts herself. 

It took many years for her to leave Derry, besides Mike who still lives in town, she stayed way past her time, year after year, expecting something.

After the incident, the recovery, and unnerving peace in the town, people, like usually did on Derry, ignore every aspect of the situation, but she couldn’t, she swallow those kind of feelings deep inside. The regret, the what if’s, her stupid and strong willed hope.

The losers club where her rock at those times, and as the years went by, smiling was easier to fake to the point of almost believing it was real, to the point where everything that once crumble beneath her was almost forgotten. 

_What a lie._

Most times when she found herself alone, her feet would move on its own, sometimes to nowhere, most of the time to the front door of Neibolt, the one of the many physical things that would drag her back to the past, only that with time sadness would go away so that anger could replace it. 

She would spend hours there, just sitting on the top floor, cobwebs and dirt joining her, as the she looked at the same window she once stood a long time ago. She became angry at herself for being stupid, she was angry at the town for letting all of that happen, she was angry at her friends, she hated herself for it, but in those moments she ended up blaming them for what happened, but most of all, she hated _him_.

_It_, she mentally corrected herself. 

**No**, Robert.

She hated him the most at those times, for killing innocents, terrorize her friends, for showing her everything just so he could die and leave her. For _loving him_.

After a while it was to much just being there, still holding onto the past as many would say, it was best if she just forgot, so visits to Neibolt became less and less frequent. 

It took years before she make peace with her past self, sometimes waking up at mornings not knowing what year it was was complicated, her mom took it as a form of PTSD from the incident, a form to cope for the horrible things she went through. Till this day he mom doesn’t know the real story.

The losers were oblivious to all of those thing she went through alone, they wanted to forget everything that happened that summer, grow up and let those painful memories behind. Soon the mention of IT was long gone, a childhood memory, it was finally their time grow up normal, and who was she to take that from them. 

Sometimes when it was only the two of them, Bev would ask her how she was feeling, her eyes would show her the real meaning behind those words, Y/N’s answer usually was ‘fine’ but at the end of the day it was only tears and quiet sobs she would release as her friend hugged her. 

There were days when she swore she could see a glimpse of something red on the sky, or a caress on her cheek trough the night, waking up immediately, her body covert in sweat and her hand clutching the ring so hard it would leave a mark until the next day, eyes moving everywhere waiting to see a shadow in the window. 

She learn to ignore all those false sign after a while. 

So, to cope she did something, and after a while started to write, letters upon letters, directed to him, about what she felt, or if she have dream about the past, something that make her think of him. The letters where sloppy, some filled with ink smudges from silent tears, others with the ink to deep it leaked trough the backside of the paper. They where all hidden under a plank on Neibolt, knowing no one will ever found them, so they will just turn to dust along with the house. 

The years only move forward and in the end it was time for the losers to grow up, goals now high in the sky, something they could never reach if they stayed in Derry, the old small town just wasn’t enough for them anymore. She cried every time it was time to say goodbye, all of them wanted for her to do the same, Richie even make a plan, for her to live with him and Eddie, three broke losers in NY, she could work at a flower shop and he could live of their money because he was probably going to live in the street and starve if he’s just live by making jokes. She almost say yes, she would be near Beverly as well, no more distant phone calls, no more missing friendships, she could make a new life, start over and for once do what everyone’s told her and move on.

_Are you walking away? You can’t leave Y/N, don’t leave me._

She said no. 

Years later she would move out on her own, still on Maine, only hours from Derry, but the ground she saw everyday was not longer hard to walk on, she took Richie’s idea about the flower shop, and now after years and hard work, she had a confortable life.

She only wish that they all could be there, the years took away not only time but their friendship as well, the calls became less as less recurrent, what turned into a daily call, became to a monthly, before being yearly. Sure, Bill always send her the latest copy of his new book, and sometimes at Christmas she would receive cards from Ben and Stanley,, even Eddie tried to make as much contact he could without his wife thinking he was cheating on her. So that leave him a call every few weeks to a month. 

She thanked that Richie and Beverly tried their hardest to keep in touch with her, sometimes Beverly would keep quiet for months, her excuse being working on her latest season, but the exhaustion and sadness on her voice said otherwise, Y/N always send her a bouquet whenever that happened. 

As for Richie, having success as a comedian lead him to fly across the country, working too many nights and sleeping throughout the day, but he was always ready to message her, even sending her a Netflix gift card just so she could see his Comedy special, she was so proud of him.

Ifs only he was as proud of being himself as she wanted to. “A couple of loveless losers” he once said, “one old and ugly and the other old and sad, both never married, sad and grumpy, what a life. At least we got a shit ton of cash Y/N”

Growing up means forming a life of their own isn’t? Someplace where childhood friendship didn’t always fit in. They were famous writers and businessman, not some losers kids from a small town.

She had meet Kara and George as soon as she walk in the new town, and with them, little Alice, who would soon become a daughter to her. 

Alice was a sweet child, Kara became her flower shop manager, handling business at the store, while George make sure to gather a team of the right people to make the field of flowers as big and maintain as is it now, they even have produce for the Sunday farmers market, that lead her to always have her mind in something.

Making the flower arrangements, delivering in town, and taking care of Alice before she could grew up faster than anyone wanted is all that it took to have a scheduled life. All until she arrived home each afternoon, saying goodbye to the last workers and closing the door behind her, in a house bigger than she needed. Lonelier that she wanted.

Don’t get her wrong, besides everything she had a happy life, people that loved her and she loved back, a successful business, and a stitch up family. She was happy, she’s supposed to be happy.

_Then why does the hole inside her still there? Why it couldn’t just fill itself with time._

At that final though she finally reach the border of the field, the lights on her house looked warm and cozy, the boots filled with mud laid to the side of the porch as she finally enters her so call home. The TV was on, Alice must have leave it on before she went away. The host of the show was talking, a photo of Beverly plaster on screen, on top of it bright bold letters that read “Fashions disaster?!” Quickly grabbing the remote Y/N turned the volume up.

“I just can’t belive she made that awful dress, MY GOD! it was like a walking peacock just arrive to the red carpet, I’m sorry honey but this dress must be burned and hang for their sins. So I nominate this for my worst dress of the YEAR! I swear if it wasn’t for her previous works I would say that Marsh kill a clown just so she could steal that look…..”

Y/N could feel the frown form in her face by the words, grabbing the remote as fast as possible she change the channel, grabbing her phone an video calling Beverly. It rang for several minutes before disconnecting, maybe tomorrow is best. She send her a message to let her know when to call.

Scrolling on the contact list she selected Richards contact and open the text conversation. 

“Hey, I’m about to watch your new special on the tv, you said 11PM right?” She glance at the clock, just about an hour before it started, enough time to shower and change. 

Leaving the tv on with the channel that Richie was going to be at, she walk up the stairs, each step creaking with her weight, before the sound on a something heavy falling upstairs made her hold a step. 

“Hello?” She called, no one suppose to be at this hour, and Alice wasn’t staying tonight, a couple seconds past without any other sound, no footsteps, nothing. 

Entering her room she find the window fully open, the wind so harsh the curtains were about to break out of place

“Alice….” She grumbled under her breath , she most likely leave it open during the day and forgot to close it. Moving towards it, her eyes looking directly at the sunflower field. She had bought the house to remodel it almost completely, unconsciously replicating the Neibolt house she dreamed, the main room being the biggest with a window being the center of attention due the magnitude of it and it’s view. 

Closing the window with more strength than needed, she snapped again out of her thoughts, today was simply not a good day, her mind was slapping her with memories upon memories. 

‘A storm is coming’ she thought before turning around, the dark clouds at the distance forming for the inevitable rain that’s about fall. 

The white lights on the bathroom make for a cold scenario, but nothing a few candles couldn’t fix. As the bathtub was filling up with warm water she removes her clothes, entering slowly, her body finally relaxing. 

She closed her eyes, trying to keep her mind blank, no thoughts, no memories, just an empty darkness. Her hands unconsciously fidgeting with the ring on her chest as her body sink down slowly until her ears were submerged in the water.

_1994_

_“Y/N?”_

_Her eyes flew open at the sound of Bill’s voice, she quickly brush the tears of her face before turning around, one arm behind her back, hiding the letter she was holding. She changed her demeanor completely, trying to have a broad smile, her posture higher. Too bad her eyes were puffy and red. _

_He had caught her standing right under the pole that mark ‘West Broadway St’ and ‘Witchham St’, so at least he couldn’t know where she was headed._

_“Yeah?” _

_“I-I was just wondering if you were going to Roger’s party, everyone already said yes, everyone but y-you” He stops to swallow, his face indecisive as whether he could say the next part. “A-Are you ok?” _

_She observed Bill’s eyes move towards her hidden arm. “Mmh? Oh oh yeah! I’m fine! Yeah of course I’ll go to the party, I’m suppose to meet Bev at Eddie’s house later so we could pick an outfit for him”._

_He hesitate to talk back, she could see how much he wanted to ask what was behind her back. A heavy weight was suddenly on her shoulder, her front shadow morph into a giant one, the letter on her hand ripped away._

_“**That’s a secret only for me, right Y/N?” **_

  


Her eyes flew open as she push herself from the bathtub, her heart thrumming so hard her breaths were coming short. 

‘WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!’

Hugging her legs between her arms she started to sobs, her breathing going in and out of her mouth in a state of panic. She didn’t even tried to quiet her sobs, it wasn’t like someone would listen anyway. 

It took her almost twenty minutes before calming herself down, deciding that she probably feel asleep and started to dream, she remembers that day and everything that happen at the party and sure as hell that he wasn’t there. 

“So I started to watch this show….” Richie’s voice sounded on the tv down below, she look at the clock, shit, it was almost over, rushing downstairs she could see him on stage as people laugh, she turned the living room lights on as she grab her phone. 

**No new messages.**

Huh, that was weird, usually by now he would have answer back, she could see the ‘read’ mark underneath her text, she opened Beverly messages, also on read.

“Thank you Boston for having me here today, have a good fucking night” The audience roar with cheers and applause, the last image is Richie leaving the stage before turning off the tv. Y/N could see her reflection on the black screen, the hallway behind her looked so dark, she stared at it for so long her mind started to play games, it almost look like something was there, watching, waiting. 

The ringing on her phone make her jump backwards, her heart not having a break today, she glance at the hallway once more, ‘_Stop with the bullshit Y/N, I thought we we’re past that’. _

Looking at her phone thinking it was most likely either Beverly or Richie. No one else would call her at this time unless it was an emergency, but to her surprise it was neither on them, instead it was Mike’s number. 

It wasn’t strange from him to call, he would often talk to her for updates and check on her mom, since going back to Derry always went further and further away for her plan. 

“Mickey? Hey, it’s everything ok?” Her first bad sign was the lack off answer on his part, the call was still going and she could her ruffling on the other line. 

“Mike, are you there? Did something happened? Is it my mother? Is she ok?!” The first thing on her mind explaining the call was her mother’s passing, but after a second she finally hear his voice. 

“No, no Y/N it’s not your mother, she’s fine” She stood quiet waiting a follow up on why he was calling her at almost 1 o’clock.

“Ok…” she responded hesitating, “Then what’s wrong Mikey? Something happened to you, are you ok?” She could only hear his breath become harsh.

“I-I…..Y/N” His voice broke, clearly something had happened. Before he could say something else the sound of heavy rain started outside. 

“Mike, stop. Just tell me what’s going on” Her voice was harsh, he wasn’t the type of person to bother someone without being important, finally after murmurs on the other line he answer. 

“It’s back, Y/N” she could faintly heard him say “I shouldn’t have called you” on the background. 

She didn’t hesitate to understand what he had meant, she knew exactly what he was telling her and yet…

“What do you mean Mike, MIKE DONT TO THIS TO ME, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!” It has to be a mistake, he was wrong, it must mean something else, it just is, something different, it wasn’t him, it’s a mistake, it’s clearly a …….

“Y/N…..It’s happening again, the same thing it happened to us that summer twen…..”

“Twenty seven years ago” she finished for him, the phone falling onto the floor. 

Mike’s screaming her name on the phone where forgotten, she ran towards the door, grabbing the flashlight that was on the hanger and exiting the house. She could feel the wet earth on her bare feet as she ran through the field, not a single part of her body dry, the non stop raining making it harder for her.

She basically threw herself at the ground, dropping the flashlight next to her before digging the earth with her bare hands. 

‘_Where are you, where are you, where are you’ _

Finally she hit something hard, eyes wide as she digs out the metal box that was hidden all these years. 

As soon as she open the lid her muffle sobbing became screams and tears , she place the box on the ground.

Everything she had saved in there was gone, the photo, the music box, some letters, just gone, there was only a piece of paper. Her shaking hand grab the flashlight, as the other grabbed the paper to place it under the light. 

It was the same old newspaper advertisement to the ‘Derry’s Carnival’ she saw all those years ago when before proposing to her mom to moved there. Only this time it had a new message written in red.

‘**COME HOME Y/N, I’M WAITING FOR YOU’**


	2. Chapter 2

_The storeroom of “The Black Spot” was filled with rows of cabinets. Foods and Beverages safely place there, you moved fast between the aisles, biting your lip to not laugh and let your location known. Playing hide and seek with Will and the others was always fun, especially for a six years old. You could hear Will’s counting backwards, soon to reach zero, so, in a panic you open the door of a big storage closet and hide, moving behind the hanger of coats and crouching._

_“…Two…One, Ok here I come!” The floor creaked as Will started to run, you place your hand on your mouth to contain your laugh once more, hopefully he’ll find the other first._

_“Are you hiding too?” You quickly turned your head away from the door, thinking that someone must been hiding in here as well, only to find a clown pushing the rack of coats on the other end of the closet, you didn’t noticed him when you entered._

_You nod at the question, winning a smile from the clown as he moved just a tiny bit closer, his puffy neck of his costume jingling._

_“Ooooh me too! I guess we both think alike! Isn’t that right Y/N?” You furrow your eyebrows._

_“How do you know my name?” You asked curiously, his mouth fell before pouting._

_“Aren’t I your friend? Who do you think gives you all those gifts you find?”_

_“That was you?!” You whisper with excitement. You always find little flowers or an apple every time you felt sad. “Then you must be magical!” You push yourself closer to him._

_“What’s your name?” You asked, how rude of you to not ask that at first._

_“My name is Pennywise, Pennywise The Dancing Clown” he extended his gloved hand towards you. Without hesitation you place your own above it._

_“It’s nice to meet you Mr.Pennywise!” He jingled again, his smile growing._

_“Oh Y/N the pleasure is all mine, it was time we meet”_

_“After this, how about I present you to Will! I think he would like to meet you as well!”_

_He was about to say something but a voice outside stopped him, you turned your eyes towards the door with nervousness._

_“I hear voices over here!” Will screamed, panicking you turn to look at Pennywise, his face contorted in such anger you gasped a tiny bit._

_“Oh no! He’s going to find us!” You whisper, he grabbed you arm and pull you even closer to him, his big and yellow eyes finding yours._

_“DON’T TRUST THEM”_

_“What” you said confused and scared._

  
_The door flew open, the closet filling with light as Will’s body press against the door, a giant smile on his face. Pennywise was no longer with you._

_“SHE’S OVER H….”_

* * *

…… HERE!”

You could hear a lot of shuffling around, your body was shaking from the cold so you reach out and tried to grab a blanket but instead crushing wet dirt.

Your eyes flew open as everything that happened yesterday hit you, your pajamas were dirty and moist, every joint in your body hurt, you tried to stand up, flinching as a hand suddenly supported your back.

“Y/N, Jesus Christ what happened?! Are you ok?!” You slowly turn to meet George’s eyes fill with worry, he remove his flannel and place it above your shoulders.

You didn’t care how you look right now, but by the look of George’s face you could imagine not in a very good shape.

“Oh my God Y/N!” Kara appeared between the sunflowers, kneeling before you, eyes roaming your entire body. You still couldn’t mutter a word, everything that was happening around you felt hazy, you don’t even remember when the other employees arrived.

“Come on Kara, help me get her up.” George said quietly, before grabbing the side of my torso to push up.

Once standing up you could watch as he moved and bend, hand underneath your knees ready to carry you back to the house.

“NO!” Everyone jolted at the reaction, George pushing his hand on the air as a sign that he wasn’t going to move. “I can walk.”

“But Y/N! Your barefoot, plus you can’t stop shaking” Kara’s voice sounded desperate.

“Y/N” One of the oldest employee, Lucas, called to you, his gruff voice from many years of smoking sounded serious as he speaks.“Do you need us to call the police?” Some people in the background nod at the idea.

“No, no” you tried to answer calmly, forming a smile that could only come out ask crooked. “Everyone, really, I’m fine, I…I learn some news yesterday and got sad so went outside for a moment, I-I must have fallen asleep on accident” Fastly avoiding any more questions you moved towards the house, hearing Kara quietly calling your name before following behind.

Lucas face remain stoic, walking slowly towards the hole on the ground, fingers marks everywhere, he just couldn’t place was you dig up since there was nothing around.

  
Kara run to turn on the bathtub as soon as she walks inside the house, you decided to just sit in the toilet and wait, hugging George flannel closer for warmth.

“Come on sugar lets get you out of these clothes” Her voice sweet as she aproach you, slowly taking piece by piece, finally closing the running water and helping you sit down on the tub. Grabbing a cup she filled it up with clean water from the sink and pour it in your hair.

Deciding on silently observe the soft movements of your friend and relax. Her hands sweetly running through the hair, every time you made eye contact she would smile. The water around you was becoming brown, almost like water from a sewer.

You had been so stupid, all this time, all these painful years, the sleepless nights, only to find out he was alive all this time, ALL THIS TIME.

God! Twenty seven fucking years! It almost seem so stupidly obvious now.

That physical pain you’ve always felt since that day was drumming with anticipation, now you had another chance. Is this how he felt every time you come back?

But, why did you only find out yesterday , there was never a sign from him, the news it had to come from Mike. Did he just expected that you find that message on the box someday? Why didn’t you find out sooner?

WHY?!

The turmoil of her feelings was becoming a hurricane, why had Mike called in the first place? Why would Mike even tell her?

Was that even Mike on the phone?

Maybe leaving Derry was a mistake, maybe she should have waited like he always did._ ‘Why did you even leave in the first place Y/N?”_

“I have to go” Kara jolted at your voice, furrowing her eyebrows.

“What?” She looked confused and worry.

“Kara, I need to go, I have to go home”

“Honey, you ARE home” She emphasize, her hand touching your forehead to feel if you’re running a fever, you took a deep breath and grab her hand and for the first time truly smile with a reason.

“I need to go back to Derry”.

After a while Kara left her and went downstairs so you could dress up, you went to the closet and pull your suitcase.

“What do you mean she’s leaving?! Kara what did she tell you?” George voice elevated before turning into whispers along with Kara’s. You felt bad for leaving them like this, they where your family too and you didn’t even know if you’ll ever see them again, you pause on that idea, before going to the desk at the corner of the room.

Pulling a piece of paper and your pen, you decided on something.

  
_Dear Everyone,_

_I know this is abrupt, me leaving to Derry without giving you guys any explication, so I leave this letter in case I don’t return._

_First and foremost I love you all so much, you’ve become my family all this years. But sometimes the past can’t be forgotten and left behind. I’ve tried all this years to let it go and move on but in the end sometimes where you belong is in a place you should never have left behind._

_Sometimes love do last forever._

_I leave the you guys to handle everything in the flower shop, house and everything I own._

_If someday some of these people came and ask for me, treat them like the family they are to me, my closest friend and confidants, show them this letter so they can know I love them as much as the first time I’ve meet them._

_The Losers Club:_

_-Richie Tozier_  
_-Beverly Marsh_  
_-Eddie Kasprack_  
_-Mike Hanlon_  
_-Ben Hanscom_  
_-Stanley Uris_

  
You folded the letter before placing inside the envelope, signing it with you name.

Looking at the window you give one last goodbye to everything, you turn around when the door slowly creak. Alice stood there, eyes glassy, teddy bear in hand.

“You’re leaving?” She quietly said having a few sniffles between words, you move towards her before crouching to hug her tight.

“Alice…” Her tiny hands grab the fabric of your dress, face mush against your shoulder.

“Why you have to go ?” She whined, “I don’t want you to go!” The dampness on your shoulder told you she was crying, so you hug her harder.

“Oh sweetie, I love you so much, it’s hard for me to leave all of you. Mommy, daddy, everyone. You all have been my family for so long I adore each and everyone of you, so I don’t like when one of you guys cry, so please baby don’t cry” You slowly caress the back of her head, calming her.

“Then why are you leaving?” Finally you softly push her so you could see her eyes, cleaning the streaks on her face before answering.

“Because I made a promise a long long time ago to someone I love, and now I got another chance to fulfill it”

Alice grab your hand walking downstairs, everyone that was gather in the kitchen turn around looking at you with worried glances.

You set the suitcase on the entrance before joining them, Kara handing your phone that you’ve drooped last night.

Quietly some people hug you and said goodbye, others were a little apprehensive specially Kara, that keep asking if you were sure of leaving.

They follow you to the car, helping you with the bags, giving one last hug to everybody before starting the truck.

“Calls us when you’re there, and please take care. Jesus Y/N just let us know when you’ll return ok” You nod at George’s words before driving away, looking at the rear view mirror the people that had become the family, surrounded by sunflowers.

You were about four hours away from Derry, deciding on leaving the windows open and the radio on to play some music, nervousness making your stomach a mess. Everything is going to be ok.

The song on the radio threw you back to the past.

_1994_

_‘The power of love’ played on the speakers as Beverly helped Eddie dress up, you were observing them while laying on the be., Eddie looked in the full length mirror inspecting the shirt before nodding._

_“Ok, I think this is the one, what of you guys think?” He turned to face us before frowning. “Beverly come on you know what I said about smoking, my mom gonna kill me if she think my room smells like a bar”_

_Beverly rolled her eyes before removing the unlit cigarette of her mouth and chuckling. “Whatever you say Mr. Dion”_

_“Hey! that woman is one of the greatest artists to date and you wish you had her voice”_

_You laugh at them, sitting up so Beverly could be next to you, looking for her makeup bag on the backpack._

_“You look great Eddie, that shirt surely will get everyone’s attention” You winked at him, making him blush and turn again towards the mirror, fixing his hair for the hundred time._

_“Come on Y/N help me with my makeup” Grabbing a brush you started to apply blush at Bev’s cheeks, her hair was still short but more styled than other days. Her eyes were focusing on your face before smiling._

_“You looked pretty today” It was your turn to blush, you picked on the straps of your dress nervously, Eddie glance trough the mirror._

_“Yeah Y/N, purple really suits you.”_

_You hand froze, brush still on Beverly’s cheek, you heart beating fast as they remained quiet, the song in the speakers filling the room._

_‘Even though there may be times_  
_It seems I'm far away_  
_Never wonder where I am_  
_'Cause I am always by your side’_

You pushed the breaks on the side of the road before turning off the engine, the clock told you that it was about an hour before arriving to Derry. Grabbing your phone the first thing you see is the seventeen missed calls from Mike, as well a couple from Kara and George,_ ‘they’ve must have called when they notice I wasn’t home’_.

Still no answer from Richie or Beverly. Is not something that hasn’t happened before, with all the things they have going on, a day or two without and answer wasn’t peculiar, still you wondered if it was the best to send them a message or just leave it as _‘the friend that never texted back because she returned to Derry and we never hear anything else”_

The music in the station stopped as the news broadcast started, since you were so close on Derry it was playing their news.

‘Adrian Mellon’s body was found a week ago around 9PM. His partner, Don Hagarty was interrogated as witness of the hate crime that leads to Mellon’s dead. According to Hagarty’s story and the coroner oficial report, the cause of dead was due to brutally maiming on the face and body before being thrown out to the river where unfortunately cost his life, authorities said the four suspects are now under arrest. In other news……’

You turned down the volume before starting the engine and driving away. _Shit!_

Before you knew, the sign of ‘Welcome to Derry’ was only meters away, a shiver crawling all the way in your back. You thought that as soon as you entered he would be there, waiting, but everything seem normal.

_Except the feeling crawling on your back never went away._

Every street looked almost as you remember, so many memories in each nook and cranny in this town, you took Richard St before turning on Witchham, your elementary school peeking at the corner.

You slow down to watch Bill’s old house, it looked almost like you remember, they changed the paint and the garage but it still looked like the house you spend so many time in.

Talking about the that, you finally saw your mom’s house. It was no longer a cream color, now it was more like a muted yellow. Once you parked your shoes touch the ground of the sidewalk, hugging yourself at the strong wind outside.

After three knocks you patiently waited by the door, one of your feet moving up and down a few inches of the ground, you haven’t seen your mother in person a long time ago, you thanked for modern technology and video chat.

When she open the door the feeling of crying came rushing, her hair in a low bun as her glasses tip down from her nose, it took a moment of shock before she finally speak.

“Y/N?” You nearly crush her from your hug, she chuckle at your reaction but soon enough hug back with the same strength.

“Oh my god honey! You’re back! What happened, is everything alright?” She search on your face for some type of concern but you grin at her happily, shaking your head.

“No no mom, everything’s fine” You hug her again, “ God mom I’ve miss you so much”.

You sat at the little table in the kitchen, still the same pastel colors, you could still recognize some things that she never threw away. She placed a cup of coffee in front of you before sitting, stirring her sugary coffee.

“So, how’s everyone? Last time we speak Kara said maybe it was time to open another flower shop in the city”

You took a sip of the coffee and nod “Yeah, She and George have been pushing the idea, I told them that if they wanted we could try and find a place”

After a long conversation it was almost noon, you stood up from the table and headed to the bathroom.

“You can use the one in your old room” She said while stirring a sauce on the stove.

You gripped the handle of the door, ready to open up the past once again. You’ve found out that this house initially have been own by The Nelson’s, the same sweet couple that took you in.

It looked different, your mom make sure to turn it into a guests room by painting the walls from purple to white. You looked at the ceiling and chuckled, it still had the stain Ben and Bill made decades ago, it was more fainted but you were sure that thing was going to be there for a long time. At least they win the school science fair.

Opening the bathroom door you notice the sharpie mark Beverly made when they all measure heights, remembering how Eddie signed on Richie’s place because he was so mad he was taller than him, at the end everyone signed in someone else’s height. You missed them so much.

You give yourself one last look at the mirror before walking towards your mother. it was time to do what you came here.

“I’m going to take a walk around town” Your mom hum confirming she heard you.

“Hey mom” you called making her turn around, all these years and she was still the best. She had given you everything, she worked so hard and still gave you all the love she could. “I love you”.

She smiled before walking towards you “Honey, I love you more. And I’m proud of every choice you’ve ever made, no matter what you chose I’ll will always love you, even if I may never get the chance to see my baby again”. A tear run slowly down her cheek.

“Mom, how, what are you…” Her eyes told you that maybe she knew more that she let you see all these years, so silence was the best option before letting the cat of the bag.

“I’m gonna go now”

* * *

Once outside the butterflies in your stomach flutter with anxiety. Maybe you could take one last walk around town before going there.

What if Mike was wrong, and he isn’t really here? It could all just be a coincidence. Maybe your desperate mind making you see things that day. _It certainly wouldn’t be the first time._

Before knowing you arrive at the town center, the stores filled with life and people, it was a summer day so you didn’t expect less, you walked past the butcher store, before stopping in front of the alleyway recognizing it’s where Eddie helped with the wound Ben received from Bowers.

_‘Peek-a-boo’_ You though to yourself, touching the brick wall and following until you face the mural of The Bradley Gang tragedy, _that day._

The one you die. You grabbed your ring and played with it, something you grown a costumed every time something was on your mind.

Turning back around to walk out of there, you hit another person as you turned the corner.

“Sorry, sorry” You said before looking up, Mike’s eyes wider than you ever seen them.

“Mike”

“Y/N” He crushed you in a hug, he was still as tall as you remember.

“I called you so many times last night, I didn’t know if your were ok” He pushed you just enough to keep his hands on your arms. He looked at your face before locking his eyes on the ring you forgot to hide.

He just keep looking at it, so much, his body was visible stiff, making you uncomfortable, it was almost as his mind was going a thousand miles per hour.

“Mike” you said again, no longer cheer in your voice but instead a little harshness. You push his hands, grabbing the ring before placing it under you clothes.

“I have to go” trying to walk past him was futile, Mike grabbing your wrist before you gave two steps.

“W-Wait!” He screamed nervously, finally looking at your eyes. “Let’s meet, a-a-at Jade of the Orient. Tonight! Please, I’ll be there at 7PM, just….please come.”

You were about to refuse, something seemed off, he just looked so persistent and desperate.

“I’ll try to see if I can make it” He removed his hand of your wrist, his face didn’t looked happy with the answer but nodded anyway. “Goodbye Mike”

You turn around and walk before Mike said something that made you halt your step.

“Don’t go to that monster, Y/N”

You keep walking anyways.

When everyone left town you started to notice that they’ve seemed to forget many things of Derry. Most time you had to remain them some of the good memories, it wasn’t because of the years passing by, they just seemed to forget more and more things that you just couldn’t forget, good things and bad things were out of their minds.

_Specially Pennywise_. None of them ever mention him again, of course it could be from fear and letting bad memories die.

Until Beverly asked about the scar on your back while video chatting. She looked so concerned and lost, asking how you managed to do that and when it had happened, why I never told her. You couldn’t just tell her she was there the day it happen, they all were there.

_Fighting him as you bleed on the floor begging for them to walk away._

You confirmed you theory was true because when you showed the old wound to Richie he almost lost it, asking the same questions that Beverly. _How, When, Why._

They had forgotten and deep inside you felt relief that at least most of them were living without knowing what happen that day.

All except Mike as you just learned.

The day was finally setting and the sky was turning a red color, almost perfect as the Neibolt house loomed at the end of the street.

You heart was pounding hard, you grabbed the fabric of your dress and pull, your hands sweaty.

“Are you here for the 6 o’clock mass?” The woman place herself in front of you, her smile wide, too wide for your liking, you turn saw the people entering the church.

“No, I’m sorry I have someplace to be” you declined as politely as you could but the lady keep smiling as she place an arm softly on you back, pushing you towards the church, the door closing as soon as you walked in.

“Don’t be silly, this is exactly the place, don’t you want to repent from your sins?” She sits you at the lone pew in the very end of the church.

“I don’t h….”

“Have sins?” She cuts you off, tilting her head. “I don’t know, I think leaving Derry would be a sin, don’t you think Y/N?” Your head snapped to look at her but she was already taking a place between some people far away.

A minute doesn’t past before the priest walk towards the podium, making everybody quiet.

“Good evening everybody and God bless you. Today we’ll start by reading some words to take into consideration” You watched as he move some papers from the podium. You slowly rise from your seat as quietly as you could, touching the door ready to walk out.

“Dear Robert” your head snapped before turning around, everyone on the church looking at you with a wide smile.

_Oh._

“I dreamt of you again” the priest keeps reading, “We were on our little spot at the library, my hands caressing your hair as you fell asleep next to me. I remember trying to trace the features of your face, how soft your lips felt against my finger.”

This is….this is one of your letters. Oh God he had found your letters.

“Robert” You called but got no answer, so you move forward, everybody following your body as you move closer to the priest.

“You open your eyes and stared at me for a while before closing in to kiss me. I woke up soon after that so I’m writing this because I didn’t get the chance on my dreams to say that I still love you”

“Pennywise”

The priest giggled at the named, a giggle you thought you would never hear again. You tried to move closer to him when his eyes find yours, a deep an orange color.

“For this past twenty seven years I’ve miss you, craved you”

“Why didn’t you let me know you where alive?” You interrupted him, tears of frustration finally coming out. “All this years! All this time! I’ve waited and waited for you! I cried some many times for you, FUCK!” You presses your hands into your eyes in frustration.

“Hard isn’t?” You stared back, Pennywise full form coming closer to you, his steps slowly. He place his the back of his hand on your cheek.The sound of his voice irritated “To live each day in suffering? To have your heart ripped out of you right before your eyes? You felt it too didn’t you? The hatred for the people in this town, how you blame them all these years. Why didn't they just leave us alone? How your group of LOSERS JUST ENJOY RIPPING US APART, DESTROYING EVERYTHING?”

“N-No they thought they were doing what was right, they didn’t understand, they thought they were saving me” But have you forgotten how many times you still blame them?

You throw yourself at him, your arms around his neck before desperately touching every part of his body. You felt his face on your neck before taking a deep breath, both locked in such deep embrace, finally FINALLY that pain in you chest no longer there.

It has been to long, how could you even live without him.

“Bob, we can finally be. They are no longer here, no one can do us harm again” You whispered. The bell of the church started to ring, each time louder and louder.

His smile grows a chuckle mixing with a growl. “You’re late for dinner”

“What?”

“Ooooooh, you will see soon enough Y/N, YOU WILL SOON SEE WHO THEY REALLY ARE”

“No, no no **no no no** don’t leave me, Pennywise….”

One blink and you were completely alone in the church.

“Don’t” Tears keep streaming from your eyes, you run towards the door, pushing it to walk out, expecting to found yourself at Neibolt St and not in front of the “Jade of the Orient” restaurant. He wanted you to meet with Mike?

That fucker had the nerve after all these time to LEAVE YOU LIKE THAT?! GOD! NEVER IN ALL OF YOUR LIFES PAST FROM BEING THE HAPPIEST YOU’VE BEEN TO WANTED TO PUNCH HIM STRAIGHT IN THE FACE.

_Why are you fucking playing with me?_

You dry the remaining tears and glance at your clock, it was 9PM. How long did you stayed at the church?  
You walk inside, Mike must have left once he realized you didn’t show up, the lady in the front desk smile at you.

“Hi! Welcome to Jade of The Orient how may I help you?”

“Um yeah hi…I was just wondering if a friend of mine was still here or left. It’s too late, he’s probably went home” so politely answer.

“What’s the name of your friend?” You give it as she check on her reservation book, her finger scrolling down the page.

“Mike Hanlon, yes, table for eight, they still here if you want to come in” She stood up motioning to follow her.

You felt like someone threw an ice bucket at you. Following her towards a private area of the restaurant, a group of people talking and laughing.

“To The Losers Club!” Everybody clap their shots before drinking it.

“To the losers club” you said with dread, everybody except Mike looked at you like a deer in front of headlights.

_Oh fuck._


	3. Chapter 3

Nobody seemed to move, you stood there watching everybody. They were all here, on Derry, at the same time Robert returns, but why?

You looked at Mike’s, he was the one who invited you to the restaurant, did he just forget to mention that EVERYONE was going to be in town at the same time after years on never stepping a foot near Maine? ****Bullshit. ****

Either Richie or Beverly would have told you if they had made plans to come here, and even that, the rest of the group wouldn’t just be here. It was all to much to be just a coincidence.

You open your mouth to say something when Richie’s stood up, his chair felt backwards, Beverly flinching at the sound.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He wanted to sound mad but his voice cracked desperate. He turned to looked at Mike’s waiting for an answer. “Mike did you called her? Did you ask her to come to Derry?!”

“Woah Richie, hey calm down” Eddie speaks reaching for his forearm but he snapped off.

“Richie, hey, breathe” Ben step in as well. “Besides what’s the big deal, Y/N is our friend, I though you guys still talk to each other”

“We do!” He answer back

“Then what’s the problem dude?” Richie looked at Eddie. His face crunched up, looking like he had the answer at the tip of his tongue but at the same time his mind was blank.

“I-I don’t know”

“Richie” He turned to look at you, rubbing his hands on his pant to clean the sweat, you move forward before hugging him. “Calm down” You feel him released a shaky breath.

“Y/N” Bev’s voice follow up as she stand up from the chair and run towards you, crushing you in a hug. “Oh my god” she whisper, out of happiness or fear her tone didn’t give it away.

“Beverly” You smile looking at her, it’s been so long, everyone stand up to give you a hug as well.

You sit down at the chair, taking a moment to look around at your group of friends.

“Stan not here” You stated.

“No, I bet he won’t come, Stan always hated Derry” Richie said passing you a drink, you thank him.

“It’s been so long Y/N, last time we talk your flower shop was booming, what was the thing that you did eh…. Express national shipping?” Ben ask as he grab some stuff to a plate and handled to you.

“Yeah yeah. We get so many orders now that we had to expand our flower field double the amount these past few years. But I actually believe the success come from a well designed flower shop, thank God someone help me with that”

You received a smile from Ben, he had helped you design it before he rise to massive success.

“Hey what about me? Wasn’t I the one that gave you the idea in the first place?” Richie interrupted.

“Like that time when you gave us the idea of setting Mr.Daniels toupee on fire only so he could cancel the biology test?” Bill said making everyone roar with laughter.

“Oh my God I remember that!” Bev said between laughs.

“Why are you guys laughing, it worked!” Richie grumbled, you laugh at the memory.

“We almost got expelled because of that, you dipshit!” Eddie scream at him taking a piece of tofu to his mouth.

“How about the time Y/N and Beverly clog every single toilet in the girls bathroom and blame it on Greta’s” Ben said making Bev choked on her food as you both looked at yourselves cackling.

“She got suspended for a week and I got a bloody nose but it was worth it” You tried to contain the fits of giggles. There was a moment of break when a waitress enter and place a plate of fortunes cookies at the center of the table.

The group had become lively remembering the good times we share. You had miss this so much, it almost makes you forget what was wrong in this situation.

_ Almost _

“So how come you guys are here?” You asked, all of them grew quiet while taking glances at Mike.

“I call them” He said honestly, you took a deep breath. __He knew. He knew that Robert was back and the first thing he thought was called them?!.__

No idea came in your mind as on why would Mike do this , they had survived his attack twenty seven years ago. __They almost killed him even though you beg them to leave. __They had moved on, they had nothing else to do here, it was only __you__ who had a purpose to return to Derry.

A purpose they won’t take away again. ****Not again.****

__“__You know, when Mike call me I threw up, isn’t that weird? I mean got nervous and sick and threw up” Richie suddenly said, his voice shaky. “That’s why I didn’t couldn’t text you back” He told you. “There was something telling me not to tell you anything, which is crazy. I tell you everything” The honesty and melancholy in Richie’s eyes told me those memories we share.

_ That day at Roger’s party. _

The puzzles pieces where failing one by one on their heads, you could see by everybody’s looks that the gears inside their minds where moving.

“You know, when Mike called me I crash my car” Eddie confess, everyone alarmed by that.

“My heart was pounding right out of my chest” Ben added, “Isn’t that weird? Now that we’re here, it all the memories comes back faster and faster, I mean all of it”

_ Oh shit, this isn’t good. _

__“__I thought I was the only one” Bev agreed.

“It was almost like pure f-f-f-f” Bill couldn’t finish saying the word, you haven’t heard him stutter since along time ago.

“It’s fear” Mike finished. “What you all felt was fear”

You-you has to stop this, you glare at Mike. **_**_WHAT ARE YOU DOING._**_**

“Mike” you warned him to stay quiet, your hand gripping the mantel on the table.

“Why we all f-feel like that Mike?” Bill turned to looked at Mike, “You remember something we don’t don’t you?”

Mike stared right at you, just a tiny bit of hesitation on his eyes.

“Don’t, please” You mouthed. He was planning on doing breaking a wall it took many years to form so they could forget. Many lies you had to tell them in order that they would never think about everything that happened a long time ago.

What is he trying to do, what’s the need for this?

“Something happens when you leave this town, farther away the hazy it all gets, for me, I never left. So yeah, I remember….” Suddenly all the hesitation and regret left him, defiance taking its place while never removing his eyes on me. “I remember all of it, every single memory, everything that happen, it never left me”

You felt your hands push on the tablecloth so hard the plate in front of you move forward, your breathing becoming short as your body started sweating cold. No one said a word, letting Mike’s words sink in.

“Pennywise” Bev whisper in horror as she looked at you.

You close your eyes as defeat and anguish took over you, they all remember now__. __

_ _

__“__Oh the fucking clown” Eddie words comes in realization, slightly wheezing. You feel the burning stare of Richie on you, but you couldn’t look at any of them.

“Mike you said you needed our help with something….what was that?”

You head snapped at Bill’s question, help? HELP WITH WHAT.

“Mike what did you do?!” You angrily hissed at him, but he ignore you as he speak again.

“There’s an eco, here at Derry that bounces back every twenty seven years”

“What are you talking about?” Eddie nervously interrupted, he was fidgeting so much you grab his forearm softly to calm him down.

“Mike” you tried to warn him again, you can clearly see the distress on everybody, but he keep pushing.

“Hold on, listen listen. W-We thought we stop them back then, we though it was done” He pulled out a notebook filled with notes, flipping it quickly. You are about a second before actually throwing something at him.

“A week ago, a man, Adrian Mellon slaughter…”

“No, Adrian’s dead was because of homophobic bully’s who beat him up and then throw him onto the river. Mike your thinking to much out of this!” You interrupted but he ignored you and keep going.

“…a girl, Lisa Albrecht went missing! There already been others and their will be more!”

Everyone started to speak their mind, the situation becoming more erratic as the clock ticks every second.

“Let him explain” Ben said, _no, how about you all just go away from here! Go the fuck away! You’re safe and happy that way, Jesus how hard it is to understand that shit!_

__“__That eco, we might have changed it.” Mike stares at you. “Twenty even years ago we changed the cycle, everyone believed that IT was finally dead. But we didn’t stopped it, because IT just bounced back”

The cycle changed because you lived and he died. _Or so everyone thought_. __Even you believe he would never come back. But didn’t __you__ prove the contrary over and over again? Even so, what’s this have to do with all of them being here?

“We made an oath, that’s why I brought you back, that’s why you’re here, to finish IT. It’s what we promise to each other all those years ago”

You stood up so fast from the chair the table wobble making the drinks shake.

HUH?

“Why are you guys talking about? What oath?!” All these years, oh god, all those fucking years. You known them almost your entire life, fuck, they’ve been with you after everything, t-they would talk to you, make you smile, all this time. All this time they keep secret about this, they mock you. They knew your pain and just…just, they just….

“What oath?” You didn’t know when you started crying, you felt heartbreak and anger, how could they do this?!?

"Hey, hey Y/N calm down” Richie tried softly to touch your hand but you take it away like it burned you.

“Y/N” Eddie said softly “Don’t you remember? The oath that we did?” He ask but sounded confused, like he try to relive the memory but was foggy.

“No” Bill said, “S-She wasn’t there, were y-you Y/N?” The puzzle was almost complete and you were the missing piece.

You couldn’t be there a second longer, so you rush out, finding your way towards the bathroom and locking the door as soon as you walk in. 

You moved towards the sinks, looking at yourself in the reflection of the mirror, tears stains running down your cheek. You cover your eyes with your hands. You couldn’t take all of this, how could you be so naïve?

“They hurt you Y/N” A smooth voice whisper next to your ear as warm hands crawl on your body before encasing you in a hug. You opened your eyes to look at Robert behind you, his face next to yours as his mouth remain close to your ear, the warmth of his breath making you shiver at the sensation, his blue eyes glue to your reflection.

“They will try to take us apart again. All these years they lie to you.” You grabbed his arms with crave, you had miss his touch. His soft lips on your body, that stare that say more than words could describe.

“For twenty seven years I’ve miss you, I’ve craved you, I’ve waited for you. I lived by the words you wrote to me. The first time I’ve saw the sky again I thought about you, but you weren’t ****there.****” He growl, his hand applying more force, crushing you even more close to him.

“I’ve waited for you, for so many years, I hoped someday I would woke up and you will be there next to me, that you would give me a sign, something. After a while I just couldn’t bear being in this town, so alone, every corner and street was a memory I share with you and couldn’t no more.” You answered, the pain of those lonely times hitting you like it was a nightmare.

“And of course ****they**** were there with you, huh Y/N? They all knew about your pain and did nothing, they waited to see you lose hope, to never come back here, to forget like they did. ****It was them that did this to us! Don’t you see, they all have the blame… and it’s time I get my revenge” ****His eyes started to change from that beautiful ocean blue to the deep yellow, his skin turning slowly to the white paint, rising slowly from his collar up, giggling more and more.

Several thoughts came to your mind after his words. You fell cheated and frustrated, betrayed and crushed , but revenge on them?. _Even if they lie and keep secrets, do you forget who they are?_

_ _

_ 1994 _

_ It was around 9 o’clock and everyone was at Eddie’s room talking and being loud, prepping up before going to the party, you and Bev where adding the final touches to each other’s makeup while the boys talked. _

_ "Come on guys it’s time to go before my mom regrets lending me her car” Eddie stood up from the windowsill, before gesturing that everyone move their asses out of his room and towards the door. _

_ " Jesus fuck Eddie, chill out, I didn’t think you be so excited for alcohol and underage drinking” Richie said laughing, but it was quiet down fast by Eddie’s hand slapping in front of his mouth. _

_ “You will you shut up?” He hissed, looking at his mom closed door. “Do you want to go to this party you trashmouth?” _

_ Richie raise his hands in defeat. Everyone quietly snicker as we walk downstairs and outside. _

_ “Mike, you’ll be my copilot since you’re the only one I can trust with directions. The rest of you… I don’t know just find a way to fit in the back” Eddie open the driver’s door to start the car, Mike looking at us before doing a little victory dance in which everyone rolled their eyes. _

_ As soon as Bill open the door we all looked at each other, pushing ourselves to get in first. _

_ At the end you sat on top of Beverly’s legs, much to the insistent offers from Ben and Bill so that she would sit on their lap, to bad that now a Bill was sitting on Ben lap, oh and Stan and Richie were constantly insulting each other. _

_ “We’re here” Eddie said as he turn off the engine, everyone rushing out of the car in a second. _

_ “Oh thank fuck!” Richie screamed “Seriously Stan, you’re going to make everyone fucking faint at the party with that much cologne!” _

_ “Shut up Richie, at least I don’t smell like old deodorant and spit stains” _

_ “Stop your bickering people, we all looked great” Mike walk past us as he wink and turn towards the front door. _

_ “Says the guys that had all the AC to him” Ben grumbled, everyone moving as well. _

_ The loud music boomed inside the house, the lights flickering between colors, some people having a quiet time on the porch and some getting handsy on the side of the fence. _

_ “Everything ok?” Beverly ask next to you, a cigarette already in between her fingers. _

_ “Mmm?....yeah, I’m just hesitant, you know I don’t like party’s Bev” you shyly answer her. _

_ “Hey come on Y/N, we’ll have fun” She looked at the doubt on your face. “I tell you what, if in an hour your not having fun we’ll steal Eddie’s keys and drive to get junk food…..just the two of us, ok?” _

_ You laugh at her idea but nod nonetheless. _

_ “Deal” You felt an arm on your shoulder pushing you forward, Richie next to you. _

_ “Come on stink face, let’s have a good time” Richie smiled at you. _

* * *

__“__No” You snapped out of your thoughts turning and grabbing Robert face with your hands. “I’ll stop this, I’ll find a way to make them go away, to-to leave town” He growled at you.

“You still don’t understand Y/N? They will hurt you! STOP BEING NAÏVE!” He grabbed both your wrist desperately.

“N-no, I won’t let them” You push yourself from him, finding confidence in your voice “I won’t let them hurt you… but I won’t let you hurt them either”

“Oooooh but you will have to choose Y/N!” His voice raspy and angry “They’re not your friends, they betrayed you! They lie to you! They ****hurt you!” ****

“I will still try!” You paused, backing away “Just give me a chance and I will fix this”

He tried to grab you but you moved towards the door.

“****Don’t go Y/N, DONT GO”****

You open the door of the bathroom and walk out, not before hearing him scream your name.


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as you walk out of the bathroom a women in uniform passes quickly next to you.

“What the hell is all that noise?” The older waitress asked more to herself than to the other woman. “Go there and see what’s going on” She ordered the young woman who now you recognize as the waitress that help find the table when you walk in, she stand there hesitant to move.

You could hear loud screaming and banging from the private room the losers were, so you moved pass the ladies, watching as you enter Mike’s banging his chair rather harshly against the center of the table while screaming. Everyone else stuck to a corner with their eyes closed.

“IT’S NOT REAL! IT’S NOT REAL”_ oh it real alright._

A nervous hand touch your shoulder, the waitress you just walk by looking very, very worried.

“It’s everything alright?” She softly ask, halting everyone’s movement. Richie open his eyes to look at you and then her before smiling.

“Yeah… can we get the check please?” She looked about to second from calling the police.

“We’ll cover for the damage expenses” You said with a more calm smile so she nod and went away.

Mike lowered the chair onto the floor, everyone hesitant to move around, especially Beverly who was shaking like a leaf and still covering her eyes. You moved towards her and touching her face as softly as you could.

“Bev, it’s ok. Hey, look at me” Little by little she opened her eyes and tackle you into a hug. You keep repeating calming words until she was no longer trembling.

“What happened?” You asked only to know what they saw, because you knew who fault was it. He must have scared them while I was in the bathroom with him.

_So he won’t stop until I get them out of town, he’ll keep terrorizing them until he’s tired enough and kills them._

“I almost shit my pants, that’s what happened” Richie said while moving to help Eddie.

After a minute and a very expensive dinner we all head out towards the front door.

“W-We need to contact S-Stanley to know if he’s ok” Bill spoke, you frown a that.  
“He fucking with us Bill” Eddie spokes out, “that’s what Pennywise does right? He fucks with us so Stanley is probably fine”

“Stanley? Why wouldn’t he be ok?” You look at everyone waiting for an answer, “Guys, what did you see when I was in the bathroom?”

“It’s… complicated” Beverly said dismissively reaching for the back pocket of her bag to grab her phone.

“Mike, do you have Stan’s number?” Mike nodded, opening the back of his notebook.

“Hey Richie”

We all stopped at the sound of a little kid voice turning to see a boy that couldn’t be more than ten. Richie’s eyes widen in fear, nervously turning around.

“How you ah….How do you know my name?”

“The fun it’s just beginning….right?” The kid stare at him before giving him a wide smile. _Haven’t you hear that before?_

The kid just keep staring, making everyone on the group tense up. Eddie reaching out and grabbing Richie’s jacket sleeve, ready to back him away. You thought that the child was definitely weird, but it couldn’t be Pennywise fucking with them, especially in front of you. Besides, you’re almost sure you had heard that phrase before, but where?

“He…he said…” Eddie looked at us ready to have a panic attack so Richie moved forward pointing at the child aggressively.

“Listen…you think this is funny? Right?....You think this a sort of game? Huh” He grew more infuriated, reaching harshly for the kids arm and shaking him. “Well…FUCK YOU ALRIGHT?! FUCK YOU! IM NOT AFRAID OF YOU!”

The kid looked alarmed to the sides, creeped out. “The fun just beginning, the line from your act dude, I’m a fan”

_Oh God, you really need to make them leave town before they start slapping old lady’s on the street._

“Are those your parents?” He pointed at the clearly bothered couple walking towards us, the kid looking at them before saying yes.

“You want a picture?” The kid refuse, walking away with his parents. Ben slandering about Richie not knowing his lines.

It was cold outside, everyone was waiting in the parking lot as Beverly’s phone rang twice before some woman answer.

“Hello, Ms. Uris, my name is Beverly Marsh. I apologize for calling but I’m an old friend of your husbands” You could hear Richie and Eddie telling something about leaving to Mike, but you attention was more on the call.

The woman sniffle, her voice hoarse “Mmm…he passed”.

The feeling of throwing up rush on your stomach, you keep barely listening on the conversation, he had taking his own life yesterday.

Yesterday, that’s when Mike called everyone. _Oh Stanley._

He must have been so scared to come back here, to relived everything.

_1991_

_“Come ooooon Stanleyyyyyy” You whined at him for the third time that day._

_Both of you where sitting on a bench in Bassey Park. You’ve been paired with Stanley to work on an essay, so the both of you decided the fresh air and a little sun would be better than the last few days that you’ve spending locked between each other’s houses or the library doing research._

_Also you knew his nerdy ass wanted to watch birds on the breaks. By now you knew the difference between a Blue Jay and a Blue bird and more bird facts you needed.._

_But today you found out something else as well. You had found out he knew how to waltz._

_“I told you, I’m not going to teach you. It’s embarrassing. I only know how to do it because my mom force me to take those stupid classes so I could be prepared in bat mitzvahs or weddings”_

_“Come on Stan! It’s not embarrassing! Who can be embarrassed for doing something the other person can’t? Tell you what. I promise I will never tell anyone about this… especially Richie.” You could almost see him crack under your words._

_You stand up from the bench, and place yourself in next to him, waiting for him to turn towards you, a hand extended._

_“Please mosieur” Stanley rolled his eyes but this time with a small smile on his face, taking your hand and standing up._

_“Ok, so” He started by placing your hands in proper position, “Waltz it’s really easy, just a three step dance” he show you the movements while counting, you looked at him nervously._

_“J-just follow my lead, and try not to step in my shoes” He hesitantly grabbed you and waited for your cue, so you nodded._

_“One, two, three” The first few minutes you tumble and mess up, but Stanley would calmly explain how to keep the rhythm. After a while you could move to the right rhythm._

_“Hey! Your doing it Y/N!” His tone was happy, and you realize you were following his movements without and issue, so you looked at him excitedly, but as soon as your eyes meet the two couldn’t resist laughing hard._

_Stan grew confident, grabbing your waist and spun you around, both of you keep laughing and dancing until your laughs turned into tears, Stanley stopping dead on his tracks worried._

_“Hey…hey what’s wrong? What happened?” His hand hover above your body, looking for something wrong._

_“I-I’m sorry Stan….it’s nothing, it’s…” You keep sniffing, you couldn’t tell him that all you could think while dancing is that you give anything for Robert to be in the place Stanley was._

_All you could think was the memories of those nights the both of you would dance slowly in each other’s arms, the light of the candle inside the caravan slowly melting while Bob hummed a sweet tun and whisper sweet nothings to your ear._

_“Sorry Stan”_

A single tear run down you cheek, Beverly quickly pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up.

“Stanley” Eddie said, “He knew, he knew before we did”

“We have to stop it, I-I have a plan” Mike said, making you turn and glared at him, the color of his face draining.

“A PLAN?! YOU HAVE A PLAN?!” You yelled, something they rarely saw from you. You heard Ben called your name but you ignored him closing in on Mike. “You knew he was back, I know you remember everything Mike! And still, YOU decided to call them, to fulfill a fucking promise you stupidly made YEARS AGO! YOU knew he would want to harm all of you. YOU KNEW THERE WAS ONLY **ONE** PHONE-CALL YOU HAD TO MAKE, now look! Stanley’s dead! HE DIED BECAUSE YOU CALLED HIM! ARE YOU ACTUALLY SO SELFISH TO LET EVERYONE ELSE IN DANGER, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!”

You felt a hand on your arm pushing you back from Mike, so you look meeting Richie’s stare. You take your arm harshly from him before moving farther from everyone, just to have enough space.

“You guys need to leave” You spoke more calmly this time, everyone looking at you, “All of you, you need to leave Derry, forget this, forget everything”

“Other people are going to die Y/N” Ben said and before you could answer that it won’t, Richie spoke up.  
“Y/N’s right! We need to leave, I don’t want to end up like one of the characters on Bill’s books! We don’t own this town shit! Fuck this!”

Mike moved towards Eddie to convince him but he agreed with Richie as well, Beverly and Ben standing up from the sidewalk and walking towards their cars.

“Y/N” Richie called you opening the door of his car, “Come on, your coming with me” You were about to refuse until you remember you didn’t have your truck with you and it was late at night.

As soon as you seated on the copilot Richie speed up and drive away. You hug yourself from the cold of the AC and turned to looked at Richie. You could tell he was in deep though.

“Richie”

“Don’t” He angrily said, taking a deep breath. “Where were you?”

You furrow your eyebrows, “What?”

“When we made the oath Y/N, where were you? Why can’t I remember?” He mumbled the last question to himself, “A-are you staying at Derry Town House too right?”

“No, I left everything at my moms house but Richie….” He cut you off.

“Ok, so after I pack my shit we’ll go to your moms to pick your things, did you bring a car? Yeah of course you bring a car, you lived hours from here. Well how about..”

“Richie”

“I’ll drive with you until you get home, I can crash at your place for a few days and then I’ll….”

“Richie”

“No, your right, after this I think it’s best if you come with me to Reno, we can go to spa or…”

“RICHIE!”

“WHAT!” Finally after several attempts he finally listen to you.

“Richie, I won’t leave” You said firmly in which he frown.

“What!? Of course your leaving, what the fuck are you talking about? You just say it yourself!”

“Richie I won…..”

“NO! Look, there’s something in my mind that keeps screaming to keep you out of Derry. I don’t know what it is but ever since Mike called me all I could think is that you wouldn’t be here, but of course you’re here! Of course you’ll be the first one to be here”

You where scared to further his questioning leading to him remembering the reason why he feels like that, so you both fell into a silence but after a minute or two you spoke again.

“Eddie looks good” You mention him as a comment, his hands gripping his staring wheel harder before speaking.

“Yeah” It was the only thing he said, turning to look at you and giving you a sad smile in which you returned just as melancholic.

Richie turned the car off once he parked outside the motel, you waited for him to get out of the car but he made no movement.

“I’ll get my stuff and then will go for yours afterwards” You open your mouth but he place a hand in front of you. “I don’t care what your going to say and part of me doesn’t want to understand. Stanley’s dead and I don’t want you to have the same fate as him”

“Richie, I’ll be safe” He furrow his brows at your words. “You don’t have to remember to know that what I’m saying it’s true. I want you guys safe as well, and trust me the only thing that’s going to accomplish that is if all of you leave town and I stay were I belong, where I need to be Richie.”

He thought about your words for a long moment before speaking.

“A couple of loveless losers right?” He asked softly and you smile.

“Maybe this time we’ll both get our second chances” You stared at him, the meaning behind your words thick with hope. Richie’s eyes glossy as he returned your smile and nodded.

Getting out of the car you saw Eddie, Ben and Beverly walked out of theirs and moving towards the front door of the place, Richie and you following right behind.

Richie and Eddie walked upstairs to pack their bags while Beverly moved towards the bar serving herself a shot of bourbon.

“Bev?” You called her worried, “Are you Ok?” She nodded while desperately swallowing another shot, so you took the glass from her.

“Tell me what’d wrong” You insisted.

“Tell you what?” Bev’s eyes following the figures next to you, Ben taking place on the seat beside you before talking.

“Whatever your afraid to tell us right now” Bev walked out of the bar without answering, Ben following right away.

“Back at the Jade when you were on the phone with Stanley’s wife, she told you she had found him in the tub, you I saw you, I heard you, you said it first”

“What? Bev is that true?” You asked softly but she looked at you horrified, before she could said anything Richie appear.

“Whatever you guys are talking about, let’s make it faster alright?” He said before looking up the stairs and screaming to Eddie so he could move faster.

Beverly looked about a second of running away from everyone, even when you tried to move closer to her she immediately back away. She’s scared.

“Ben, drop the subject, she clearly doesn’t want to talk about it”

“No, there’s something she’s not telling us”

“Yeah, and maybe that’s for the best!” You said aggravated, “The important thing right now is for you guys to be safe and leave town”

“Safe?” He asked, “Stanley wasn’t here and now he’s dead, what makes you think that we’ll be safe outside of Derry?”

“Because…” You couldn’t finish without telling the reason, Bev looked at you with sad eyes before moving past everyone.

“I can’t do this”

“No! Beverly You knew how Stan was going to die!” Ben yelled while following her, Richie turning at them.

“She knew how Stanley was going to die? Is that what you just said?”

You follow them behind, Bev trying to evade Ben insistence until she finally snapped.

“Because I saw It” she said harshly, “I saw all of us die”

Eddie walked down the stairs with two large suitcases in each hand, looking at everyone like a loss puppy.

“Ok, just need to get my toiletries bag and then we go….what I’ve miss?”

You walked closer to Beverly, putting your hand on her shoulder with hesitation but she place her own above yours before squeezing.

“Let’s sit down ok?” You whisper and she nods, everyone else following along as you all took seats along the bar. “What do you mean you saw it Bev? Why you never told me anything?”

She release a shaky breath, her hands picking the nails.

“I-I didn’t want to tell you…After I left Derry I started to have dreams, people dying, people suffering. I saw all of us die….I dreamt of you Y/N”

“You saw me dying?” You ask

“N-No in my dreams I could see you, but it wasn’t really you. You were always smiling and laughing, but when every time I tried and reach for you… It was like a growl came from every direction, a wolf ready to attack me and rip my throat out, all before lights consume you. Before I could do anything you where out of my reach. I always ended up waking up in a cold sweat…it always felt worse than any other dream”

“It was probably a nightmare, I have nightmares, everyone does!” Eddie spoke up but Bev shake her head.

“No, none of those dreams felt like nightmares. They feel real, the-they are real, oh God Stanley, if I knew he was going to hurt himself, I-I should have call him” She covered her mouth with her hand to cover the sobs.

“Beverly, none of you will get hurt anymore” You said to her, lamenting that there was nothing you could do anymore for Stanley. “You’ll be safe the sooner you leave Derry, I promise”

“What if it’s not that easy Y/N?” She whisper and you could see in her eyes the true fear. You wonder the same exact same thing.

_Oooooh but you will have to choose Y/N!_

Bob’s words resonated inside your head, if it came to it, if there was only one path to choose? Who would you pick?

“I’ll get you some water” It’s the only thing you could say. Standing up from the chair and grabbing and empty glass cup you headed anywhere else in the house.

You walked upstairs hearing the mumble voices of everyone discussing, looking around until seeing what it looks like a community bathroom. Opening the water faucet you fill the glass with water, leaving you to look at yourself in the mirror.

_‘Everything is going to be fine Y/N, they are grown adults with a life outside of Derry. They will listen to you and leave, there’s nothing to worry about’_

But what if he’s right, if it came to it there was only a one way path. Mike call them for an oath you never found out, and oath they made probably after the incident, after learning everything about you, they still decided that someday they should return and finish him once and for all. They keep the secret almost as long as you keep yours.

They might forgotten about most of the stuff once they walked out of Derry, but what about before? The many many years before that, did they simply didn’t care about you past?

_You almost die that time trying to save him, what made them think that, if it came to it, you’ll save him over and over again._

You perked up at the sound of the front door opening and closing. Quietly you walked down the stairs, the voices of Bill and Mike now inside the bar. No one seemed to notice you, so you hide behind one of the walls right outside the room.

“The deadlights” Mike said like he was answering something.

“The deadlights” Bill repeated, “She was the only one of us who got caught in the deadlights that day”

_Not the only one_, you corrected inside your head. He had use them to show you the past, you were in a limbo for three days before waking up, even to this day you keep getting dreams and memories of your past selves. Maybe that’s what’s Beverly is seeing, but instead of the past, dreams of a tormented future.

“We were all touch by IT, deep down, like an infection or a virus. A virus that’s been growing for twenty seven years, metastasizing….it just got to Stan first because…”

“He was the weakest” Richie finished but he was wrong. _Stanley was anything but weak_.

“What Beverly sees it will come to pass, it’s what it will happen to all of us, unless we stop IT” You gripped the glass harder, you wanted to walk inside and scream at Mike for feeding more into their fears. Stanley’s dead was caused because someone decided to dig out the past they all bury a long time ago.

“How the hell are we suppose to do that?” Eddie asked nervously. They have ignored everything you said about leaving.

“The ritual of Chüd” Mike declared and your ears perked up at what he was saying, “The Showkopiwah , the first on who fought IT, they have a saying… ‘All living things must abide by the laws of the shape they inhabit’”

“A tribal ritual?!” Richie screamed in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me man? Alright there’s got to be another way!” Everyone else started talking as well about what to do.

So…that was it, they all have made their choices. They choose to ignored you, they choose not to leave town and forget about this. They choose to fight him.

_So you choose to fight them_.

“Alright guys look, I’ve seen w-w-what Mike’s talking about and it’s all truth. At the libra…Mike’s place, he show me how to finally win against IT. It’s the only way, if we want this ritual to work….” Bill said.

“We have to remember” Mike finish saying, Richie asking what exactly it is to remember.

_Everything. You will soon remember everything._

The ritual of Chüd, that’s how they want to kill Robert. But you didn’t have a clue about what that was or how to stop it, but maybe something in Mike’s place could tell you how to stop the ritual. _Bill said the library before correcting himself, that’s where they went._

“What about Y/N?” You turned your head towards Beverly’s voice, still hiding behind the wall. What about you?

“If she didn’t made the oath she doesn’t need to do this right?” Eddie asked, his tone hopeful.

“She mustn’t find about the ritual or anything in the matter” Mike firmly warned them, something in his tone was different, you could feel the sensation of eyes behind your back for some reason.

Before they could talk anything else you enter the room, the air uncomfortable as you handed Beverly the glass of water, you eyes locked on Mike’s before giving him a wry smile.

“Everything Ok?”

* * *

  
Victoria sat at the grades already bored of the game, she turned to her mom and ask how long before they could leave.

“Victoria, we came to watch the game, we’re gonna watch the game” She said dismissively before turning back her full attention to the game, leaving Victoria now angry and bored.

Well, until a firefly rested on her stuff toy, she keep still so the little bug wouldn’t fly away immediately. She moved her hand and try to catch it but the bug flew away. Looking at her mother Victoria knew that she wouldn’t know it she was gone for a couple minutes, so she move out of her seat following the glowing bug under the grades.

Before she could try for a third time, two hands came out of the darkness, caching the bug with easy. She jumped with fear, no one suppose to be here.

The hands open up before warm light show the face of a clown, his bunny teeth sticking out as he smile at her.

“Hello Vicky” He greeted her, he sounded friendly Victoria though, but she still wonder what would a clown be doing here hiding. “That’s what your friends call you isn’t, Vicky?…. How do I know that?...That must mean I’m your friend too!”

Something about this felt weird, she had never see him before, so how did that clown know how her friends call her. She gave a few steps backwards.

“If your my friend why are you hiding in the dark?...You not my friend, you’re scary” Victoria turn away ready to leave, but the crying behind her make her falter her steps, looking again at the clown that now was crying.

“Why are you crying?” She asked, the clown looked at her with a sad face.

“I though if you couldn’t see my face you could be my friend. You are a clever and kind little girl, so you could maybe help me with a problem but never mind” He hide himself mor in the dark making Victoria feel bad about how she treated him earlier. “Silly old Pennywise, no one will help you….oh Y/N”

“I’ll be your friend! Just tell me what’s wrong!” Victoria felt even worse, all he wanted was help and she had treated him like a monster. He smile wide at her words.

“You will? I knew you’ll help me Vicky, come come!. The thing is….I love so one so much I don’t know what to do!” He smile as his costume jingled. Victoria smile as well as she moved closer to the clown so she could hear better.

“I just want to lock her up in a cage and have her forever” His face fell and she furrow at his words, but she keep moving closer to the clown. “But she has this…friends” He hissed. “Ooooh these so call ‘friends’ all they want to do is ruin everything and hurt us. I’ll keep telling her but she won’t listen Vicky! It makes me so mad all I want to do….all I want to do…”

By now Vicky was right in front of him, listening at his story a little put off.  
“You want to do what?” She asked innocently, waiting for him to answer. To bad his teeth sunk on her face before she could know what he wanted to do before finish his story.

“Kill, Vicky” He sadistic said at the mangle body of the child, “I want to kill all of you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone know the proper spelling for the name of the native tribe please let me know, I search everywhere but couldn't find it. Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

_“Hey Bob?” You asked the man that now was resting on your lap, your fingers gently combing on his almost auburn locks. You both rested for a while under a tree at Bassey Park. _

_ The shadow of the tree giving some release for the heat of the day. He opened his eyes to look at you, you could always melt away from the burning of his stare, your heart still thrummed with love even after all this time. _

_ “I love you” You smile at him before lowering down so you could give him a tender kiss, his hand grabbing the back of your head so he could deepen it. _

_ “Then come back to me” He whispers to you, “Come to our house, find me, forget about them Y/N” You close your eyes at his words, resting your forehead on his, you could feel his warm breath and the tips of his fingers gently touching your cheek. _

_ You wanted to give in so bad, every fiber of your being buzzing, you craved to touch him, to feel every ounce of him, and entire live by being touch starved, needing him, only him as your partner, your lover, you one and only. _

_ If it was only as single as forgetting them. _

_ “Soon, I’ll swear” _

_ “ **NO!” **_

** _ ** ** _ **

As you open your eyes, you expected to look at Robert's furious eyes, the echo of his scream following you to reality. Instead, a vanity and cheap wallpaper is what your eyes meet.

_ Right. _

By now knowing that you just talked to him in through your dreams wasn’t phasing you in the least. _Twenty-seven years without seeing you and the only things we’ve done is pulled from the other end of the rope._

You had slept in Richie’s room since by the time they had stopped talking it was way too late at night, and he wasn’t having it you returning home or whatever you where planning to go. At least you didn’t forget was how much he snorted at night. _Now I remember why we always make him sleep in a different room whenever we had sleepovers. _

You could hear him playing with his phone next to you, but before you could move someone knocks on your door.

You close your eyes as he moved out from the bed and opened the door, shushing at the person outside.

“Next time just sing Dancing Queen as loudly as you can you moron! She’s still asleep, ” Richie whispers.

“Sorry, Sorry!” Eddie spoke out as quietly as he could, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, just let me grab my jacket” The wood floor creaked, Richie’s steps coming closer to the vanity in front of you. Once the steps move again, you release a slow breath. 

“What's the plan? Are we just not going to tell her man? She’s going to wake up and not see us! Don’t you think she’s going to freak out?” Eddie’s voice sounded distraught.

“You heard what Mike said, if we want to do this is better if we don’t get her involved” Richie paused for a couple seconds, “Besides, some secrets are best to keep to ourselves”

Your heart clenched at his words, for almost thirty years Richie has been your best friend.

_ Oh, Richie, remember when we didn’t keep secrets from each other? _

_ _

_ 1994 _

_ The loud music was deafening; it has been a little more than an hour, but all the people crowed in a single place was giving you anxiety. You look around to find your friends, you could see Beverly dancing in the living room with a group of people, a red cup in her hand and a cigarette she was barely smoking only hanging from the tip on her lips. _

_ Stanley and Ben were talking in a circle of boys, you could see them laughing at something Stanley said. Mike was sitting on one of the couches, a pretty girl on his arm as he whispers to her ear making her blush. And finally Eddie and Richie by the kitchen. Normally Richie didn’t drink too much, but you could see him bottoming his cup before serving himself pure alcohol, his eyes glancing between his drink and Eddie, all the while Eddie casually was serving himself a drink and talking to him like usual. _

_ You move towards them but the crow of people between you and the kitchen was impossible to walk through, leaving you to go to the easiest exit that was the stairs for the second floor. _

_ Upstairs the music was more dimmer, you knock on the doors first just to make sure there wasn’t any couple being more adventurous than usual. By the end, three of the four doors where discarded, you knock on the last one several times just to make sure, but after no one yell at you you opened. _

_ It looks like the office of the house, in the center it had a dark wood desk and many books pile one over the over, a grandfather clock next to the open window. You slowly walk in, leaving the door just a couple inches open. You look at the place, picking your nails to contain touching anything. _

_ “Cool place,, huh?” You turn at the voice behind you, Richie leaning in the doorframe, his glasses just a little lopsided, his cheeks and nose redder than usual. “Of course you would be here and not in the party. We can still go to get French fries like Bev said” He smiles at you, but when he tried to move from the doorframe his body tumble cowards, making him lose balance. _

_ “Fuck Richie! You’re drunk!” You grabbed his shirt to keep him balance, his eyes trying to focus on your face. _

_ “I’m… I’m fine. Ok many I need to sit down for a moment” He moved past you dropping himself under the window, spreading his legs as he rested the back of his head on the wall. “Fuck, this is stupid Y/N, I’m so stupid.” _

_ As soon as you sit next to him he places his face on you shoulder, drunk and melancholic? You frown. This was strange. _

_ “Richie what’s wrong?” He only sways his hand to you, mumbling what it sounded like ‘nothing, I’m fine’. _

_ “Richard Tozier you’re drunk as fuck. Something that in all these years you’ve never done in public, the only time I saw you this drunk is when we stole from your parents' liquor cabinet!” _

_ He chuckles “Oh God! Mom almost killed us that time, we finish her good scotch.” _

_ “I know! She still locks the cabinet with a key every time we go to your house… but that’s not the point! Why are you this drunk?...Did something wrong happened?” _

_ His face grew somber, and you really started to worry that something very wrong happened. _

_ “What if I’m a freak Y/N?” He whispered, “What If I feel something I shouldn’t feel something so wrong that I hate myself for it?!” _

_ “Richie..” You tried to look at him better, but you could see that under the glasses his eyes were watering. _

_ “Forget it… forget I said anything” He tried to stand up but the alcohol in his blood was making it sloppy giving you a chance to grab his arm and yank him once again next to you. _

_ “WHAT! Are you insane?! Richie!” You took a deep breath to calm yourself, “Listen, you are very drunk right now, so I won’t push you into telling me anything you’ve might regret later… but Richie, honey look at me,” His eyes move to look at you. _

_ “There is nothing, NOTHING wrong with you. Everything you feel, everything you are! Jesus you are my best friend! One of the sweetest most funny guys out there, and you’re telling me you hate yourself?! Gosh sometimes I don’t know if I should punch you or hug you” You both chuckle at that. “Whatever it is, trust me. I will love you anyway, no matter what it is.” _

_ Richie look at the floor while biting his lip, thinking but before you could tell him again that maybe right now wasn’t the best moment he let go of a sob before talking. _

_ “I like someone, someone I shouldn’t” The room grew quiet for a minute before you speak, you tried to be as soft as you could. _

_ “Is it Eddie?” His skin turn even redder, his eyes wide as a platter. _

_ “How… What?...How do you…” He couldn’t speak, but you give him a reassuring smile. _

_ “I know how love looks Richie. You can see them in someone’s eyes and… I can see them in your eyes every time you look at Eddie” He bites his lips hard at your words, he wasn’t taking it well. _

_ “Richie, there’s nothing wrong with that” You reassured him, but he keeps moving anxiously. _

_ “People will make fun of me, p-people will hate me Y/N. My mom, my dad, they will think I’m a disgusting human being, the guys! Oh God Eddie! What if he finds out! He will probably think I have aids or some shit and never talk to me again! Y/N!” _

_ He was crying like you’ve never seen him; he was so scared. You threw yourself at him, crushing him in the biggest and most needed hug, you didn’t know when you started crying as well. _

_ “God Richie, you know how much we love you? Trust me when I say this; they won’t hate you. Eddie won’t hate you. Everything you are feeling is completely normal and whoever put the idea that you’re a monster because of it should burn in the deepest pits of hell. I won’t push you to tell anyone and I certainly won’t tell anyone if you don’t want to, but sweetie, feeling love isn’t a bad thing,” You push yourself back to look at him, drying his tears with your hand. _

_ “Love, my sweet Richie, is something that is stronger than anything else in the universe. It creates a bond that could be forever. It something we cannot control, we cannot choose who we love, we just do.” _

_ “I-I… thank you Y/N” He gives you a shaky smile. “I’m glad you’re my best friend” _

_ “And I’ll always will be” _

You heard the door close, so you opened your eyes, a tear had escaped you and run down your cheek. After that Richie never talk about it again, he told no one besides you, and he swallowed everything he felt for Eddie deep inside. You knew he regretted never telling Eddie what he felt. And you always regretted never pushing him to accept his feelings more.

_ Specially knowing deep inside that Eddie loved him just as much. _

You waited for a couple of minutes until the front door of the place open and close; you looked at your phone; it was too early for anything to be open at this hour, anything except for the library.

* * *

You walked on very quiets streets, only a few people where walking outside. You were more worried about a certain someone stopping you from your plans. Almost waiting for Robert to show up and angrily kidnapping you, __again, __so you could be safe from everyone and not do anything, all in the meantime he attacks everyone in town. 

You know, there was a time when that sentence would alarm you so much, but then again, nothing in this town is normal, especially you. You accepted long ago who he was and what he meant to you. No matter who or what tell you the contrary. 

When you arrived at the library, the librarian was barely unlocking the door, she turns as she heard your steps on the concrete stairs, smiling at you.

“Oh, Hi dear! I’m about to open the library, but do come in! Come on” She waves at you as she enters the place, walking towards the main desk. “I’m not supposed to let anyone in yet, but I couldn’t let a sweet pea like you outside the cold, tell me dear, are you looking for something? I mean, you must be to come here so early in the morning.”

You returned a smile at her, tapping your nails in the desk's wood nervously.

“Hi Ms….” 

“Johnson” She finished and you nod.

“Ms.Johnson, yes, I’m actually here for a favor. Um, I’m friends of Mike, Mike Hanlon. ”

“Yes, Mikey, such a sweet man….very handsome too” She deviously commented earring smile from you towards the old lady.

“I’m more into clowns but that’s not the point” You murmur so fast she furrows her brow and grimace, “The thing is Ms. Johnson that I’m an old friend of his way back actually, and recently our old group of friends got together. It turns out Mike left something important here, so he told me if I could come and get it from him.” You tried to sound as convincing as you could the lady looked like she was thinking about what you said before speaking.

“Something in the library, my dear?” She questioned, but not shake your head.

“Not exactly, it’s more where he sleeps. He told me he’s been living in here since a while back, for research I believe” The lady nod at your words, thinking about what you said.

“Well, I suppose, usually nobody knows Mikey lives here. He only goes there at the very end of the night to sleep and be downstairs before anyone’s here, and since you are here instead of him, I guess you must be telling the truth”

_ Yeah, not so much. _

She pointed towards the hallway to your right. “Just go over there and up the stairs, the door should be unlocked. That things haven’t been fix for almost a decade now”. You thank her before following her directions. 

You follow the long set of stairs, going all the way onto what it could only be the attic of the library, you touch the old rusty handle of the door, taking a few breaths of courage.

_ You only need to find how you can stop the ritual. Bill saw it so it must be here somewhere, it can’t be that hard, right? _

Wrong. As you open the door your eyes went everywhere, he had piles and piles of books, torn papers, photos, scribbles and information. _God Mike, since when you begin with this obsession? _

This must be information collected from several years at least several years in the planning? But why?

You entered the room, closing the door quietly, you didn’t even know where to start; you looked at the papers stuck on the wall, somewhere newspaper clips of missing cases, mostly kids. You place your hands on them, your fingers following the lines of the words Mike had written on the corners or just circle something.

And then you saw yourself, over and over again.

Y/N Embers, Y/N Brown , Y/N Williams and Y/N L/N. Your heart started to race as you read the notes Mike furiously scribble all over them.

‘BODYS NEVER FOUND’ ‘WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS’ ‘DOES HE COMES BACK EVERY TIME SHE DOES OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?’

You move along, swallowing all the feelings of betrayal. No one ever knew exactly that Robert made you remember everything about your past lives. No one ever knew how much you really love him.

But they couldn’t be so blind after all, you almost die for him. The scar on your body is a proof of your actions, the bite on your shoulder the mark of possession.

On the table you recognize the notebook Mike carried with him yesterday, it look almost like he threw it without caring. You carefully pick it up, reading some of his entries.

_ ‘I talk to pops today, his sickness is getting worse by the day, I just hope he will go peacefully, after everything the old men been trough in life it's only fair. “One of the lucky few that can die by old age” is what he told me. _

_ Recently I’ve been spending more time with him, going over to the library to pick a book and reading him every chance I can. I know he must be bored out of his ass being on bed every day. _

_ He told me something today, about my father, he told me about the times when he’ll take my father to The Black Spot before it burned down. The thing is, he told me something really strange; he believes Y/N was there, that she was the reason the place burn down, he screamed at me that very same evil presence that haunts her killed my father. The nurse came soon after as his heart was racing so fast they needed to medicate him. He felt asleep right after, but I just can’t get out of my mind what he told me.’ _

_ ‘He was right, I started digging in the library about Derry’s history and there was so many things we miss when we were children. I don’t know why but I think pops was right about my fathers dead, I found some people that may have known some information about IT, I will tried to talk to them and see what they know.’ _

_ ‘Today was his funeral, many people show up to say goodbye to the old men, some of his oldest friends and their kids. I spoke to a group of them after the service was over; they told me their memories of my father when they were children. I mention Y/N, their faces changed so fast before they excused themselves. I just wonder how much did she knew and keep quiet, I still talk to her but I don’t think it’s the right call to ask her about IT, I don’t know why, but something tells me she has more to do than what we knew many years ago.’ _

_ ‘I can’t sleep, every time I close my eyes all I could see was my parents clawing at the door, the scorching skin melting as they scream my name, the clown would always be at the end of the hallway, his stupid laugh, mocking me, a lighted match in his hand’ _

_ ‘I finally got someone who was willing to talk to me, she said she knew about a group of Native Americans that live just outside Derry. They know about IT more than anyone on the town. I will go later in the day to plead to them so they could help me. _

_ I NEED TO KNOW. IT is the reason why so many people in this town are now dead, why my parents are dead, I just know it. I need to be prepared if the thing ever comes back. I feel that if I don’t I’ll go mad.’ _

_ ‘I know how to kill IT, the Showkopiwah finally showed me a way. They show me what I need to do, and to think my grandfather gave me the answer many years ago, of course I didn’t know what it meant, but that’s the solution, she…’ _

The note was unfinished; you turn the pages reading some keywords, Mike writing was turning chaotic as he found more and more, he has turned obsessed, you name and even Roberts was plastered all over the notebook, you could almost feel the disdain he had about you. You stopped at the chicken scratch title written in the last few pages. 

_ ‘**THE RITUAL OF CHÜD** _

_ I saw on the vision;This is the way we stop IT. I had to steal it; I know that this time, with all of us together we can finally kill that son of a bitch. I just hope everyone keeps their promises. It won’t work without the final piece, a bond between light and darkness. I think I know exactly what it is.’ _

The note keep going about the things the group needs to do, something about tokens of past memories, all place together on a special artifact, something that mike had drawn at the edge of the paper, the exact same artifact you could see on top of the table just a few feet away from you. 

You snap the book close, placing it on the same spot you had found it. That was it, that’s how you can stop them, once you get rid of that they won’t have a way of hurting your Robert anymore, without a weapon they won’t have any other choice than to leave town. 

You a step closer to the artifact, you could see some detail engraving on the outside. Something almost drawing you in, you grabbed it with both of your hands; the leather felt warm to the touch for some reason. You froze at the sound of the stairs creaking; you look up the window, the sun way higher in the sky. You stayed longer than needed, and now you were caught red-handed. The door open with a bang, as he took the stairs to the attic slowly.

You turned to watch Mike at the end of the room, his brow full of sweat, from running up the stairs, he stretch an arm towards you, motioning to stop your movements. 

“Y/N” His voice warning you. He gave another step making you clutch at the artifact into your body. You wanted to run or to find a way to destroy it, but you couldn’t take your eyes away from him in case he decides to run towards you.

“Mike” He raises his hands as a sign of peace, but you didn’t believe it. 

“I knew you heard us last night” He said more to himself than to you, “You can’t stop this Y/N”

You furrow your brow at him. “I **will** stop this Mike! Jesus don’t you care about them? You and I both know everything about the past; **we** didn’t forget about it. Why did you have to put them in danger, Mike!” 

“Because!” Mike interrupted, frustrated, “Because it wasn’t everything Y/N. You know how many secrets you keep from us, huh?! Do you think that after all this time you would show up and that thing would suddenly stops?” You open your mouth to reply but he didn’t give you a change to respond, throwing papers onto the floor until he picks a piece of paper from the table, the edges crumbled and stained, even with a distance you recognize that letter. _Your letter_. __

“Where did you get that?” You asked him.

“I found it at Neibolt, I went there a couple months ago to see if I could find anything that could help me. All I could find was this, you might think that it would be converted in dust and faded, since you wrote it almost twenty years ago. But you know what Y/N? It didn’t have one speck of dust; it was almost like something had been keeping it safe. ”

“Mike” You call to him, his eyes where almost lost, his voice strained.

“And to think that after all these years we were friends you keep hoping for that thing to come back, for you to get a-a change to love him! Jesus! We knew that thing had latch onto you, but you? Loving that thing? A monster that kills in cold blood. It kill Georgie! A-and my parents….”

Your vision was becoming blurry from the tears, your chest hurt from his words, he gave a few steps forwards but your nails dig into the artifact.

“That was what I thought before digging out, but after everything I learn, of course, it was all so clear. It had been you, your deaths bring massacres onto this town. The key to finally defeat IT was right here.” He moved towards the side of the room, making you move farther away from him.

He casually pours a glass of water onto a cup, your heart was pounding, the room becoming hot, your brow glossy from sweat.

“I will make you see Y/N, once you see the truth, you’ll know what I did what I did. ”

“Mike… Why did you call me?” You questioned him. “You called everyone else to do the ritual… but you didn’t need me for it, so, why then?” His face remain stoic, his steps firm coming against you. 

“Just drink the water Y/N. Soon after you’ll understand” You where scared, he sounded crazy. This wasn’t Mikey.

You tried to run towards the door, but he was faster and stronger, giving you a shove. Your body hitting the pile on books as you fell onto the floor hard. The artifact flew from your hands somewhere but you couldn’t care in the least as Mike’s body crush you as he tried to grab your wrist. You scream, trying to hit him so he could release you, but the more you fight the more out of breath you where getting.

“STOP FITTING!” Mike screamed at you, the bastard almost sounded in pain from his actions. You could feel a cold liquid dripping onto you face, the water entering your nose, mouth, and eyes. If you couldn’t breathe before, now you where drowning on a small streamed of water.

You clawed at his face, making him lean back to protect himself. You took your chance and with the strength left in you you push him. His hands grab the center of your clothes for balance, not enough to hold his weight on top of you. The tearing sound of your clothes and the sound of Mike back against the floor was a signal of freedom. 

You ran as fast as you could from down the stairs. You could hear Mike screaming your name, but your body was running on adrenaline. You push the door of the library, running as fast as you could. You could feel your body hurting and your face wet with a mix of tears and water.

You had to stop. You hide behind and alleyway to catch your breath, leaning on the brink wall of a building. You looked down on yourself; you were bleeding on you chest, Mike’s nails must claw you when you push him. 

You looked at your hands; they were vibrating. You moved up and down, slow and then fast before looking onto the floor. The gravel was crumbling beneath you. You moved, scared about what was going on. The sky above you turning a darker shade of blue, deepening as the world started to change.

“W-what’s going on” You felt tingly, every part of your body on fire, you move, the town completely empty. The darkest consuming everything as the city crumbled piece by piece, you tried to scream for Robert, but nothing came out.

Soon enough the world around you felt empty, darkness swallowing you, it wasn’t until you notice that the only thing allowing to see was a string of light coming out from your chest, almost like the size of a ribbon. It was so long you couldn’t see the end it. Your hand touch it was delicately as possible; it felt warm. The kind of warm that is only in a lover's kiss. 

“What a peculiar human” You could a voice inside your head… or was it outside? It sounded like it was everywhere.

A strobe of light appear before you, blinding you momentarily before it started to take shape. As the glow began to dimmer you notice dots of lights everywhere, almost as a starry night.

You looked at the shape before you, the docile face of turtle floating in front of you.

_ What the fuck _

__“__Who are you?” It wasn’t your voice but your mind that resonated all around. The creature floated before you, almost like it was moving through the ocean. Its eyes glowed like starlight, you could see them following the string of light.

“I’m Maturin” It’s voice was like several people speaking at the same time, just on millisecond of being in perfect sync. A men, a woman, a child or an old person. All the same. 

“I know who you are child” It spoke, “It was time to finally meet you” you furrow your brow.

“You know me?” You asked. 

“From eons ago my brother and I have been on a different path. I choose life. To create and protect all living things in and out of the macro verse. I’m a guardian, one of many, you children may even call me a God.” You swallow deep at his words.

“My bother, on the other hand, is chaos, hate and evil. All the darkest parts of the universe compacted into one, an evil that enjoys to destroy. An evil necessary for a balance existence. ” 

You took his words; the only possible person it could be talking about is Robert.

“And What does anything have to do with me?”

“**You**” ****The voices echo so loudly you fear your ears were about to burst. “You change everything. As much as we believe we are the creators of your world. Humans in particular are a cosmic energy unexplainable made. What your kind call souls it what you truly are. No skin nor blood. Pure energy. Every choice in your life could shape up what you truly are.”

“You, my child. Are the divine creation of something no one expected. Your soul shines like the brightest star in the galaxy yet you bonded with the very darkness of the universe. ” 

You looked down at the ribbon once more, trying to understand everything the turtle was saying.

“I’m bonded with Robert” The turtle glare at your thought, his eyes now half lidded.

“You are a mate that was never meant to exist. You change the balance. You’re a light in a darkness that should always stayed blind. I’ve tried to pull the strings in the universe to fix this, but it seems you both are as much as the other one. It has share a part of him in you, and in return you gave him a part of your shine. ”

Before it could keep talking the sound that could only be explained as a million trumpets exploded all around, the string of light becoming brighter and brighter. 

“I believe our time here it’s over. ”

The growling of a thousand beast came like a storm, three massive lights of energy surrounding you, turning and twisting as to protect you from the turtle. 

Between all the chaos, you fell a gush of wind around you, the cold hitting your spine. You blinked as the images before you changed from a universe to a blue sky. 

You where falling from the cliff, the gravity pulling you down faster and faster, your arms pulling forwards as in believing you could catch something to stop the fall. 

The pain of the cold water was similar like hitting the concrete, you muscle crying as everything happened so quickly. Water entering you mouth onto your throat. You wanted to swim; but it was like almost a rope pulling you down deeper and deeper, the rays of sun becoming murky as the green water swallow you into darkness.

As your eyes close and your vision faded, you could see a gloved hand reaching towards you. 

* * *

You inhale a swift of air before having a coughing fit. Your skin prickle as the warm water of the bathtub run down your expose body, the remaining suds clinging to the walls of the white tub. You look around. The small bathroom. The pale pink tiles of the wall and a caramel wooden floor. The door opened, and you turned to look at the person before you. 

“Robert?”


End file.
